I don't have a title for this post.

I've met all five of my classes now, and they all seem like they're going to be a pretty good bunch. By far the class with the most personality is my late class on Tues/Thurs. They were rambunctious but very good-natured. They promised to bring me food if I let them out early on Thursday for the football game that starts at 6:00 (our class normally ends at 5:45).

I am suffering from a blocked right ear. All I hear all day and night is a constant "whoosh whoosh" of the blood rushing through my head. This has been going on for over a week but has gotten worse in the past couple of days. Now my back teeth on the right side are starting to hurt. I have an appointment with an ear, nose, and throat specialist tomorrow. I sure hope this is something that he can clear up fast because it's about to drive me crazy.

I don't really have much else to talk about today--just wanted to let you know that I'm still here.

Reflections Before the Start of a New Semester

On Friday I attended my department's annual faculty meeting and was pleasantly surprised. I was not really looking forward to the meeting because it usually drags on for a couple of hours with a few people talking about issues that affect only those few people in the department. The rest of us are left to sit and sigh and wait for it all to be over. But this time, the meeting ended after a short 45 minutes with no discussion of irrelevant issues. I hope this is a sign of good things to come this semester.

As I was leaving campus, I passed by some of the residence halls. Friday was move-in day for campus residents, and they and their parents were busy carrying in all the things that college students need to survive dorm life. Boxes and boxes of different types lined the sidewalks waiting for their contents to be placed into service in their new homes. Some boxes were obviously second-hand aquirements from the grocery store, once used to carry bananas but now pressed into service to haul books, linens and towels, and stuffed animals. Other boxes were brand new, shiny, unopened packaging for inexpensive pressboard furniture waiting to be assembled. I did notice, however, one box that stood out from the rest--it showed a picture of an electric chainsaw. I certainly hope that this box was recycled. I don't know how those dorm rooms are going to contain all the stuff that was sitting on the sidewalks yesterday. I suspect that some parents had to haul some things back home Friday evening.

The first week of classes always contains some light chaos. Some students will experience some sort of scheduling problem and will react as if the world is coming to an end. Other students will find that because they paid their fees late, they were purged from all their classes. They won't appear on my class roll but will insist that they had been previously enrolled. "You may very well have been on my roll last week, but you aren't today," I'll tell them. "Therefore you are not enrolled in my class. Good luck finding another one," I'll say with encouragement, but I'll know that this semester they won't be able to take English.

During the first couple of weeks when work is still relatively light, my officemate and I will occupy the free time between classes tracking hurricanes online. We do this every year with relish, keeping each other updated on the latest developments. Last fall with Katrina and Rita, we had plenty to keep us busy. I'm not sure why we do this, but I suspect it has something to do with reminding ourselves that there's a life off of our campus and concerns wider than comma spices and sentence fragments.

We'll also catch up with our faculty friends that we didn't see over the summer. It'll be almost as if we hadn't had nearly four months off. Three and a half weeks into the semester, we'll be saying, "God I'll be glad when this semester is over!" And that'll be the truth!

It's the End of the Solar System As We Know It!

When we hear someone mention the name Pluto, we now don't have to wonder whether he or she is talking about the dog or the planet. Pluto is officially no longer a planet.

I'm going to have to adjust my entire way of thinking.

My New Freshman Writing Assignment

Over the past few years, I have noticed that freshman college students have many different reasons for attending school. Some know exactly what they want to major in, and some have no idea why they're there. Some don't want to be there at all. With this in mind, I have devised a new writing assignment for my first-semester freshman students, and I want to get your input on it. Here's part of the assignment sheet:

For some reason, you are a student at [this university]. Have you really thought about why you are here? I mean, for example, before you even applied to [this university], did you think long and hard about what you want to do for your career and how [this university] could help you to achieve that career? Or at the opposite end of the spectrum, was the decision to attend [the university] sort of like your decision to attend 12^th grade: It was just the next expected step in life, the 13^th grade.

I want you to take a long and honest look at why you are here. Some students are here because they know exactly where they want to go in their career path, and [this university] is a stepping stone on that path. [This university] may offer the perfect education for your career choice. Maybe [this university] is just the place where you plan to complete your general studies courses before moving on to your university of choice for your major courses. Some students don’t want to be attending college at all but are here because of a deal they made with their parents. Other students didn’t even get to make a deal and don’t want to attend college at all but are here because mom and dad are making them come here. Some students even come to college with the intention of failing all their classes so that their parents won’t make them come back.

Whatever category you fall into, you have a reason for being here, and you need to be honest with yourself about what that reason is. For your first writing assignment, you will explain to your readers what you hope to do as a career, how [this university] fits in with your career plan, how you came to be attending [this university], and how these three facts will shape your actions over the next few years.

There's more to the assignment, but this gives you the basic idea. My goal is that the students will honestly examine themselves and their motives and make a choice to take responsibility for their own education right now. They consider themselves adults, so I want them to start now to think like an adult.

What do you think? Do you see any drawbacks to this assignment that I should address before giving it to them? Many of you are parents of college students or children who will one day become college students, so your input is very welcome.

Suffering from Blog Withdrawal, and Wierdness

Very early on Thursday morning, I had just enough time to check my email, and then my DSL service went down. The entire neighborhood lost service for a few hours, but when it came back up, I didn't get mine back. To make a long story short, I finally got my internet service back yesterday afternoon after having to run a new wire inside from the phone box on the outside of my house.

Bellsouth DSL service sucks big time! I've had nothing but problems from the getgo, but it's my only alternative besides dialup.

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Mugsy tagged me last week, so here are five wierd things about me. Actually, since I personally don't have five wierd characteristics, I'll include my entire household.

1. Sometimes I like to eat ketchup on my macaroni and cheese.

2. For nearly any situation that arises, my husband or I can quote an appropriate scene or line from either The Andy Griffith Show or the movie Sling Blade.

3. My Jack Russell Terriers' favorite toy is a piece of corrugated drain pipe. One dog gets on one end, and the other dog gets on the other end, and they have a good time tugging on it. They've gone through several pipes over the years.

4. My husband likes make up words to familiar tunes and sing to the dogs.

5. I love my husband a lot when he sings his little songs.

All right, Tony and Jetty Betty, you're it. Consider yourselves tagged.

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Edit: OK, I'm an English teacher and I don't know how to spell the word weird. So sue me.

Freedom is About to End

It's almost that time again. This summer flew by just like last summer did. In another week and a half, I'll be back staring at the walls of the old, cold dungeon known as my office, that basement room where I have to run a heater even on the hottest days of summer. Thankfully, I do have a window with a street-level view of the parking lot. But for all I complain about that space, when I really think about it, I'm still amazed that I have a place that I can call "my office." Not many people in the world have their own office (actually I share with a cool friend with whom I attended graduate school, so it isn't exclusively "mine"), and even fewer can say that they work--and teach--at a university. Once, a neighbor asked me what I do, and I said that I teach English at the university, to which she replied with awe in her voice, "You're a professor?" It was then that I realized that . . . well, I'm still not sure exactly what I realized except that people view what I do as something very out of the ordinary. The fact that I teach 18-year-olds at a university sets me quite apart, apparently, from those who teach 18-year-olds in high school.

(Technically, I'm really not a professor. There's no official title for those of us in my position at my particular university. We're designated as Full Time Temporary--no noun after Temporary. The most accurate noun would probably be Instructor, but no one has ever gotten around to actually naming us, so everyone just calls us Professor for the sake of ease. Most of the time when people I meet ask me what I do, I just say that I'm an English teacher, but if I'm meeting people who I can tell are sort of hoity toity, or if they're yankees, I'll say that I'm a professor.)

So anyway, yesterday I spent a lot of time working on my class website. Since I've learned how to do things like make my own buttons for links, I'm spending too much time making my site look cool and not enough time revising my handouts. I'll be working on that today and the next several days. I probably shouldn't have put it off this long, but summer break is called summer break for a reason.

It's close enough for school to start that I've begun having those dreams at night where I'm either taking or teaching classes, and I forget to go to one all semester. After school starts and the essays start coming in, I'll dream about grading papers, and it'll be one of those restless kind of dreams where I wake up as exhausted as was when I went to sleep. Thankfully, that particular one happens only once or twice a semester. (My husband still dreams about being in school, and he absolutely hates hearing the back to school commercials on TV, he disliked school that much!)

In a way, I'm sort of looking forward to going back to school, but most of me wishes I could just skip it. However, I didn't win the lottery this summer, so unless I win in the next few days, I'll be looking forward to making the aquaintance of another hundred eager (and not so eager) young adults in a couple of weeks. Actually, I really do like my job, for all the complaining I do. I get to work with some good people, and I really like my students, even though they can drive me near crazy sometimes. Once I get back to it, I'll enjoy it and anticipate going to class. Right now, though, going back to school just means the end of another summer of carefree living.

Yes, I Really Want to Exit Without Leaving a Comment

Could someone please advise me on how to stop the annoying little box that pops up on the comment page asking if I really want to navigate away without making any changes? I can't find an option for it in the browser preferences. I've been living with this forever, and it's finally about to drive me crazy.

Don't Buy Your Toiletries Until You Get to Where You're Going

So because of this foiled terror plot, people can't carry any liquids onto planes. I was just watching the news, and they were showing all sorts of things that are being confiscated from people boarding planes: eye drops, deodorant, chapstick, toothpaste, hairspray. This is getting ridiculous.

The Walgreens stores near the airports will be happy about it.

To My Silent Readers

I know you're out there. You stop by every couple of days for a minute or two to see if there's anything new. You stay long enough to read the comments, and then you leave again. You leave no traces that you were here, yet you return again and again. I hope you are returning because you enjoy the conversation that takes place here. I have come to think of the people who comment regularly here as my friends--good friends that I could count on in a crisis--even though we've never met in person. Perhaps that's why you keep coming back, because you see people who really seem to like each other, and it's refreshing to hear (read) a conversation where people can agree and they can disagree and still like each other.

I'd like to invite you to become a part of our conversations here. This circle of friends has room to grow larger, and I'd love to hear what you have to say. I know that you are reading from various parts of the country, and since I've never been out of the South, I would really welcome getting to know you.

I know you're out there, Providence, Rhode Island. San Jose, California, I see that you've been here. And all you Texas people, hey, Texas is already being represented here, but you're welcome to join in too! (Texans must really like blogging. Or is it just that there are a lot of Texans?)

But even if you decide not to comment, know that I'm glad you're here.

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I just thought of something. Maybe you keep coming back just to see what sort of drivel I'm going to come up with next. That's all right too!

Hope to hear from you!

It's Good to be a Heathen

I really like not being a regular church-goer. If the opportunity of a fun outing offers itself on a Sunday morning, I don't have to pass it up, and I don't have to justify to all my church friends why I missed church last week. It's also good to have friends and family who either aren't church-goers or who don't mind at all missing church in order to have fun with friends and family.

This Sunday afforded us the opportunity to take a canoe trip down the Caney Fork River with family and friends. (The friends are church-goers, but apparently they felt compelled to miss without guilt this day.) We put our canoes in at the Center Hill Dam and floated nine miles downstream to Betty's Island, stopping for lunch at Happy Hollow. We had our coolers strapped to a float that we pulled behind one of the canoes, so we were able to carry more than just a sandwich and bottle of water apiece. People who see us always comment on what a great idea it is, as if they couldn't have thought of it themselves.

Everyone we met out on the river was friendly and considerate. You know that commercial with the boaters waving to each other? Canoers and people fishing do the same thing, but we can chat because we don't have loud motors going. Actually we did see a couple of canoes with motors, but they weren't loud enough to keep us from exchanging pleasantries. And we saw some interesting things too. Before we saw the guy, we smelled his weed. He was sitting in a fishing boat not fishing--he said he'd already caught his limit. I guess he just hadn't smoked his limit yet.

Out in the river, away from the distractions of daily life, everyone is pretty much in the same boat, pun intended. Everyone speaks to each other as equals; no one is better than anyone else. You can be friendly with the guy who's getting high just as easily as you can with the game warden. The journey along the river and all that the journey brings is more important than reaching the getting out place.

We had a good time just floating along, laughing and talking, seeing wildflowers and cows, and stopping every now and then to put our feet in the cold water. If you think you'd have a good time enjoying God's outdoor church some Sunday morning, you can go with us next time.

It Begins

As I knew would happen, Hilleary and Bryant have already said what a great senator Corker will be. Puleeeze!

Corker seems to have already come up with a mantra: "You have a choice between me, a (fill in the blank), or a career politician from Washington; me, a (fill in the blank again), or a career politician from Washington.

By the time November arrives, I'm gonna need some Head On applied directly to the forehead. Head On applied directly to the forehead.

I Approve This Message

I'll be really glad when Friday gets here and this primary election is over with. I am sick of hearing these republican candidates for senate slinging mud at each other and giving each other down the road over who lies and who hires illegals and this, that, and the other. The really ironic thing about it all is that on Thursday night when we find out who has won, the two losers will say how much they support the winner and how he's the best man for the job and a whole bunch of other BS.

Yesterday I finally figured out whom I'll vote for for county mayor. There are three guys in the race, but one of the guys has a commercial that makes it sound like there are only two people running. I heard on the news last night that the one candidate has spent $300,000 and the next guy has spent $130,000. The other guy (the one who doesn't count) has spent only $5000 and won't allow anyone to contribute more than $100 to his campaign. I'm going to vote for him.

Another good thing is that after tomorrow I'll get fewer campaign flyers in my mailbox. Every day I receive flyers from at least four different candidates running for something. Yesterday I got one from a guy who I think I went to high school with. It started out, "Dear Republican Friend," and it said, "Put a Reagan Republican on the State Executive Committee." That one went straight into the garbage. But at least this guy let me know what party he is affiliated with. Have you noticed that almost no one in the local races is coming right out and saying whether they are democrat or republican? Are they ashamed to say which party they are with? That speaks volumes about how people feel about our two main parties.

Yes, I'm looking forward to the end of this election cycle, but I'm afraid that it will only get worse before the general election in November.

Go out and vote tomorrow, or don't. It really doesn't matter because no matter who's elected, it's going to be the same old crap that it always has been.

I'm JMG, and I approve this message.

The Rich Get Richer

On Friday, the House passed a bill which raises the minimum wage to $7.25 over a period of two years. This would be the first time in nine years that the minimum wage has gone up. It’s a nice gesture, but a little late considering how much the cost of groceries and gas has risen in nine years.

Attached to the minimum wage bill is a proposal to cut the estate tax, a bill which republicans have been trying desperately to pass and which benefits only the richest Americans.

Here’s a very interesting analysis of the bill (from Axcess News):

The minimum wage increase helps some 6.6 million Americans with an average dollar benefit of $1,200. The estate tax cut benefits some of the nation's wealthiest, about 8,200 people, with an average dollar benefit of $1.4 million.

The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities said Friday that the House approach of marrying the minimum wage hike to estate tax cuts juxtaposes policies that are aimed at two groups at opposite ends of the economic spectrum.

The Center argued that the House version of the legislation passed on Friday doesn't give minimum wage earners a benefit from $7.25 per hour level for two years. The citizen's advocacy group also said that the estate tax will only benefit the nation's wealthiest individuals.

The Center stated that, "While these income gains could be critical to the well-being of a low-income family, the dollar amount of the gain pales in comparison to the dollar gains for estates benefiting from the House estate tax proposal. The Tax Policy Center estimates that in 2011 an estate tax with a $10 million per couple exemption ($5 million per individual) and with tax rates of 15 percent and 30 percent - similar to the proposal under consideration in the House - would yield an average tax cut of $1.4 million for the 8,200 beneficiaries, relative to making the 2009 estate-tax parameters permanent. Thus, the average tax benefit for these estates would be more than 1,000 times the average yearly income gain for workers who would benefit from the minimum wage change. Moreover, the benefit of the estate tax reduction would grow with the size of the estate -- for example, the Tax Policy Center analysis shows that the 900 estates worth more than $20 million would receive an average tax cut of $5.6 million in 2011."

I'm Thinking About You, Mrs. Mackey

I've been following the news about the trial of David Gilley, who is accused of killing Laura Salmon back in 1984. I started high school that year, so Laura's death was a big topic among students a couple of years older than me. Because I did not know her, however, I never really had more than a passing interest in the conversations.

When I became a senior, Laura's mother, Lourene Mackey, was my English teacher. Let me tell you that she was a fabulous teacher! I learned how to write a research paper in her class, and I think her meticulous instruction is what helped me to succeed in college English. I won't say that Mrs. Mackey was necessarily an inspiration to my becoming an English teacher--several factors played a role in that decision--but she had a great teaching style that made me want to be in class. And I can't say that the way she carried herself through her grief was inspiring to me either because I wasn't really that aware of the situation back then. But looking back on it, I have a real respect for her for carrying on with life and making sure that her students learned what they needed to know, and I hope that this trial can bring a speedy conclusion to a long chapter in her life.

Scammer Round Two

I was right. The scammer hasn't called, but he did email me again. Here's what he said:

Hello there
How are you doing and how is the going over there,I am out of state
rightnow as i am now in australia i had to come down here for a business trip
and i am not allow to recieve calls due to the conferences we came for but i
have access to mails,i would have like to come and text drive the truck but its
due o my absence in state ok i really need the truck for my new project and i
will be making the payment through cashier check which is drawn from my US Bank account and once you get your money the shippers will be coming for the pick up at your location ok send me your full name and contact address for immediate payment also let me know the final asking price of the truck including the taxes tittle ok get back to me asap
Best Regards

He completely disregarded my statement that I deal only in cash, and he asked for personal contact information again after I explicitly stated that I wouldn't give out that information. So I emailed him back saying that the truck has been sold. Unfortunately, the email address, mensfield_dee@fastermail.com, is now defunct. So I'll probably hear from this guy again.

I would love to figure out a way to scam this scammer, but I'm afraid there's no way to beat him at his own game. I have perused some of the scambaiter websites, but everyone who has played the game just strings along the scammer for a while until he finally gets fed up and goes away.

Do you have any creative suggestions for me, or should I just ignore him the next time he emails?

I Wasn't Born Yesterday, Sucka!

Husband recently decided to sell his pickup truck, so I put an ad in the Wheels and Deals last week. I can't believe how much it costs now to list an item with a picture. I remember when a three week ad cost only $15. Anyway, that's not the story.

Monday morning when I checked my email, I had an inquiry about the truck. Now, I did not list an email contact in the ad. Apparently Wheels and Deals has an automated anonymous feedback system, and that's how this person emailed me. I thought it was sort of odd that someone wouldn't just pick up the phone and call, and I really thought it was odd when I opened the email, which came from mensfield_dee@fastermail.com.

I am interested in immediate purchase of your Truck and i will be making the payment rightaway,will like to know the working condition and final asking price and also send me some pics of the truck ok get back to me asap Best Regards

Now, being an English teacher, I was particularly offended by the text of the message, but I decided to put that aside and give this person the benefit of the doubt. Of course, the word "scam" was running through my mind, but perhaps, I thought, this person might be legitimate. So I sent some extra pictures and even provided an additional phone number. I did not give a final asking price, opting instead to let Husband do that. Then I sent the email and forgot about it all.

Until this morning when I checked my email again and found this message from mensfield_dee:

Hello there

How are you doing i hope all is moving on smoothly if so give thanks to amighty,I will give you a call soonest,I really need the truck and i wil be making the payment rightaway and once you recieve your money we will be arranging for the pick up at your location ok send me your full name and contact address for immediate payment also let me know the final asking price ok get back to me asap

Best Regards

Of course now there's no doubt in my mind that this is a scam. Some sucker thinks I'm going to give him my name and address so that he can send me a bogus check for more than the purchase price and then have me send him back the difference. Who does he think he's fooling?

I started to reply that he'd better give thanks to "amighty" that I don't know his real name and address and then say something about a shotgun, but I was a little more polite than that. Instead I replied:

Your email sounds really shady to me. If you want to make a deal on the truck, then call the phone number listed in the ad. I will not send you any personal information. If you want to come see the truck, I will be happy to sell it to you, but I only take cash.

Do you think he'll call? I'm betting not.

Do Huggies Come in Adult Sizes?

At least once every two weeks, I get free samples and coupons that I neither need nor want. Somehow Pampers and Huggies and Luvs think that I need their products. I'll admit that I do save the shampoo and lotion samples, but if I had saved all the diapers that I've gotten in the mail, I'd have enough to make some mom really happy. Today I received a newborn size Huggies diaper sample. If Huggies follows the same pattern as Pampers and Luvs, during the next few months they'll be sending more sample diapers in increasingly larger sizes. I guess I can be thankful they're not dirty.

Nobody in my house can use diapers, but in about twenty years, I'll probably look forward to finding some Depends in my mailbox.

My Opinion About a Dumb Question

The question I asked in my previous post seems to have struck a nerve in some people. I’ll tell you that I do not have a good answer to the question, but I’ll offer an opinion.

The problem lies in selfishness. It’s very easy to have an opinion about frozen embryos because they don’t require action on our parts. Frozen embryos are stored away in a container in a lab, and we don’t have to do anything to provide for their needs. It’s easy to fight for the rights of an embryo because it’s going to stay in the freezer until someone wants to have a baby, and then that person will be the one responsible for taking good care of it. We don’t have to be involved at all. We can make a call to our senator and tell him how we want him to vote, and then we can sit back and feel good that we have helped save a life.

But it’s a different story when the children are already born. We prefer not to get involved with that argument because to do so means that we may actually have to get up and do something. If I see a child suffering, then it’s my responsibility to take some action to make sure that child gets the care it needs. However, that’s going to require some effort and sacrifice on my part, an inconvenience that will disrupt my comfortable life. Most of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, prefer not to get our hands dirty. The extent of our involvement usually consists of referring someone to the appropriate government agency.

When we look at the TV or magazine pictures and see children—or any other innocent people—dead from bomb blasts, we can take the easy way out and place the blame on such-and-such group. If that group would only see the error of its ways and concede that it is wrong, this senseless killing wouldn’t happen. The blood is on their hands, we say. And when the “right” side in the conflict fires a missile into a civilian area and kills innocent people, we shake our heads and call it the unfortunate consequences of war. If such-and-such group hadn’t provoked the “right” side, we say, this wouldn’t have happened. We can then sit back and feel bad for the innocent people while at the same time comfort ourselves knowing that while we personally can’t do anything to alleviate the suffering, at least we are taking the right side in the conflict.

I’ll admit that there isn’t really much we as ordinary people can do to help innocent people in a war zone. However, we can do more than what we’re doing now. Instead of trying to figure out which side in a debate is the more moral side, we can go out and sacrifice our time and energy to help someone who needs it, whether we like that person or not. That’s always the moral thing to do.

Dumb Question

Why is it that when a frozen embryo is killed, that's immoral, but when an innocent child is killed in a war zone, that's collateral damage?

If we can't get any better candidates than this, I think I'll just stop voting.

My county commissioner is running for re-election, and lately I had resigned myself to the idea that he had no competition because his were the only campaign signs I had seen. However, recently I saw another person's sign, and I went to the county election website and found the sample ballot. I was relieved to find out that I have another choice, and it looks like a pretty decent alternative.

I received a mailer from my commissioner yesterday, and I was embarrassed for him. Now, I occasionally misspell a word or make a grammar mistake on this blog, and I'm an English teacher, but if I were sending out a mailer to several thousand of my "constitutes," I'd be sure to pay several other people to proofread it and correct all of "it's" numerous mistakes.

I have no idea how my commisioner was elected in the first place. Don't ever say that a "regular" person can't be elected because he is living proof that it happens. My commisioner used to live on my street, so I know what one of his hobbies is, and lots of other people who live in my part of the county also participate in the same activity. However, I had no idea that the fighting rooster crowd was large enough to keep a commisioner in office. There must be more powerful people in that crowd than I imagined.